


Friends Should Come But Never Go

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Drama, Points of View
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-07-10
Updated: 2005-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-27 11:56:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12080577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Someone passes away at the prime of their life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Author's note: I would like to thank Brittanae Sander for being an awesome Beta.

* * *

Brian's P.O.V

I felt myself being shaken awake. "Brian, we have to leave."

"What are you talking about Justin? Its 3 o'clock in the morning"

"Daphne's in the hospital."

I jump out of bed and slip on some jeans and a t-shirt. Justin was already dressed so he grabbed my keys and headed out to the jeep. We sped to the hospital and once there, we ran inside. We were at once met by a heavily crying Jennifer.

"Mom, what happened? She's ok, right?" Jennifer bowed her head, "Mom, tell me she's ok! Tell me"

"Justin, she had a tumor. It had already taken over too much. She's gone."

Justin turned to me, tears already streaming down his face. I pulled him close to me with his head buried in the crook of my neck, teardrops staining my shirt. I had one hand on the middle of his back to help hold him and the other one on his neck massaging to calm him down. He looked like he was about to pass out.

I walked him over to a chair to sit down and wrapped my arm around his shoulders. He sat down almost mechanically and I sat down next to him. He buried his head to bury his face in my neck again. 

I rubbed his back and repeated "It'll be okay", even though I knew it wouldn't, for a very long time. We were sitting there for about 20 minutes before I felt him stop crying.

He pulled back and rubbed his eyes and got up to start pacing the waiting area. I stood up to be there just in case he passed out. When he started crying again, I walked over to him. 

I went to grab him and he pushed away from me. "It's not fair!"

"Come here Justin" I pulled him into to me and he started to fight again. The more he fought, the harder I held on to him and eventually he just gave up.

He arms fell limply to his sides and he cried even more, his sobs muffled by my shoulder. "She shouldn't be gone. This isn't fair."

"I know"

He pulled back to look at me and told me he wanted to go home.

"Are you sure? We can stay here for a little longer if you want."

"Brian, I want to go home. I just want to lie in bed and have you hold me close. Please take me home."

"Ok. I'll be right back." I started to walk off but he grabbed my hand and pulled me back to him.

"Where are you going?"

"Going to talk to your mom to tell her we're leaving. I also have to speak to Daphne's parents."

"Don't leave me. Please."

"It's ok, I'll be right back."

He stood up and stared me right in the eyes. "I don't want to be alone right now."

A lone tear fell down his cheek, so I pulled him close and told him I wouldn't leave his side. We headed out to the jeep, ready to leave the hospital behind. I had my arm around him the whole time. I lipped to Jennifer to tell her we were leaving and she nodded her head, watching as we left. Getting in the jeep, I drove off, taking us back to the loft.


	2. Friends Should Come But Never Go

Brian's P.O.V.

After we had gotten home from the hospital, we went straight to the bed to sleep. The next morning, I got up at 9 and called into work telling them I couldn't make it today. Of course it was my company and I didn't really have to call at all. The only reason I did make the call, was because we had two companies coming today and I wanted to make sure my team was ready to make the pitch.

It was about noon before I even saw movement from his form in the bed. "Brian! Brian where are you?"

I ran into the bedroom scared that he might be having a nightmare, "Justin, I'm right here." He wrapped his arms around me crying on my shoulder. "Justin, what's wrong?" 

I rub his back gently to calm him down. "I just thought you had left me. I didn't want you leaving me, I was worried."

"I'm not leaving you; I just called into work to tell them I am not coming. You have me to yourself all day. Ok?"

"You didn't have to do that. You have those companies coming in today. You shouldn't be here." 

"I want to be with you, this is where I need to be. Plus, those companies have already come and gone. Its noon, they like to get that stuff over with early in the morning."

"Its noon? I need to call Daphne's parents. I need to help get things ready for the funeral." Justin starts to cry again after mentioning the funeral.

I pulled him close into me letting him cry on my shoulder, "Shhhh. You don't have to do any of that. They have it all under control. You can just stay here with me. And we'll order all our meals in. We'll spend the day together doing whatever you want or nothing at all."

"Why are you doing this? You know that's just like you. Something bad happens and you're there to be the supportive boyfriend or whatever the hell you are. I get bashed, you're there to take me in. My mom basically threatens you and my dad wants me to change who I am and yet again there you are. Now Daphne fucking dies and what do you do? You want to spend the whole day with me. Fuck that Brian! I don't want to order in, I don't to spend the whole day with you walking on eggshells around me. I want you to do today what you would normally do."

I honestly have to say I was taken back by this. Not only did he push off me when he started the whole spiel, but he also won't accept us spending the day together. He always wanted it, but as soon as I offer,  
he turns me down. "Too bad."

"What?"

"I'm spending the day with you. I'm ordering in because, well I want to. And there is no way in hell I am leaving this place. This is still my loft." He fell on to the bed in frustration, but by the slight look on his face, I think he was happy I didn't give up and leave like he wanted me too.

I got up and picked up the phone. He headed to the computer and started drawing, "What do you want from the le...the French restaurant."

"Nothing." I ordered something for him anyway. A variety of things I knew he and I would both like and then hung up the phone.

I walked over to the computer desk and stood behind Justin to see what he was doing. He was pulling up digital pictures he had taken of the two of them together. I started to hear him cry when he pulled up the one of all of us. It was of me and him both kissing Daphne on the cheeks. She had the goofiest grin on her face.

I kneeled down and wrapped my arms around him from behind. He turned the chair around to face me, and I saw tears rolling down his cheeks. I stood up, pulling him up with me and then hugged him as tight as I could without hurting him. He wrapped his arms loosely around me, crying harder into my shoulder.

"It will get better soon." He kept crying until finally he pulled off of me and went to lie on the bed.

He laid down on his stomach and I walked over to sit next to him, rubbing his back to even out his breathing. From all the crying he has done, it was a little off. He turned on his side to face me, sitting up to take off my shirt and then pulled me down to lie next to him. He laid his head on my chest and put one hand on my stomach. Normally, I would probably not allow him to control me, but this time was different.

"Did you know she absolutely loved you?" Justin says while inscribing the number eight over and over again with his finger on my stomach. "I remember when she stopped by that one time and she saw you in all your glory." He laughed "She thought she knew right then why I fell in love with you. But she was wrong."

I felt a tear fall on to my chest as he continued, "She always thought we would work. She used to say, 'When those asshole republicans in the government decide you can get married too, I'm going to be the best man or whatever the hell I would be. I want to be it'". 

"I told her that not only did you not believe in love, but you definitely did not believe in homosexual marriage. She said 'From what I so far know about Brian, I know he loves you even if he won't admit it. And since he is older than you, he will want to settle down sooner and you better believe you are his first choice to settle down with.'"

I felt myself well up inside and then felt a tear fall down my cheek onto the pillow. I knew that tear was not going to be the only one to fall. Fortunately, I was saved by the bell signifying the food had arrived. I got up to get it. This little task helped me to push the emotions back down to where they belong. I didn't want to break down in front of Justin. I should be his rock.


	3. Friends Should Come But Never Go

Justin's P.O.V.

Brian and I spent the whole day together today. We ate in, and didn't talk much to each other at all. He kept trying to bring up any and all things to try to make me happy. Eventually, I just told him to give up and stop talking, and he did. We went to bed at around 10, Brian rubbed my back the whole time to calm me down. Every time I laid down, I stopped to think and it wouldn't fail that every time, I couldn't help but cry.

I just got up in the middle of the night, around three a.m., because I couldn't sleep. I had to take Brian's arm off of me without waking him. I could tell he had been crying, because he had dried tears in the corners of his eyes.

I got up out of bed and headed towards the kitchen. I hadn't really eaten anything at all yesterday, even though Brian kept trying to force feed me the whole time. So I went into the cabinet and grabbed the jar of peanut butter and a spoon out of the drawer.

I walked over to the computer and started it up. I ate spoonfuls of peanut butter the whole time. I don't know if that was going fill me up, but I know that it hit the spot right then and there.

Once the computer was booted up, I pulled up a picture of Daphne. In the picture, she seemed to just glow. I grabbed one of my sketchbooks and a pencil and started drawing. I knew that Daphne loved my sketches, so I decided to draw a sketch for her funeral. I was probably working on it for a half hour before I heard movement coming from the bedroom. I could tell by the sound Brian made, that he could tell I wasn't there. I saw him sit up and look towards the glow of the computer a moment later.

I turned to face him, and then went back to my sketching. He got up out of the bed and came up behind me, looking at what I was doing, "That's amazing."

"Thanks, I thought I would bring it to the funeral. I know she would have wanted something like that."

"Yeah, she would." He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck. "Are you sure you don't want to work on this in the morning? It's really late, you need your rest."

I turned so I could kiss him on the lips, "I'll only be working on this for a little longer. I'll come back to bed in about 20 minutes."

"Ok, I'll be waiting for you." He kissed me on the cheek and then headed to the bedroom.

I felt bad for acting the way I have been with Brian; he's just trying to help. But I just don't feel like pretending to be happy when I know deep down I'm not.

Brian's P.O.V.

I headed back to bed after waking up to see Justin drawing a picture of Daphne. I laid down on the bed facing towards him. Watching him draw the picture, I could see his silhouette in the glow of the computer.  
Eventually, I started dosing off. I was thinking about how much I just wish this didn't happen and how long it's going to take him to get over this.

I looked at the clock, and realized that I had fallen asleep for half an hour. I looked over at the computer and saw that Justin had fallen asleep at the desk. By the look of it, his sleep was anything but comfortable.

I got up, and carried him to the bed. I slipped one arm under his knees and the other around his shoulders. I laid him down on the bed, and cuddled up next to him, facing towards him. After that, I couldn't get back to sleep, because all I want to do is sit there and stare at him. I'm happy he's safe, I'm happy he is with me, and I'm happy that he hasn't given up on me.

I just hate to see him sad. I hate to see him hurt. I just want him happy again. I can't stand the thought of something making my sunshine sad. I know eventually, things will be better. And I may not seem like a patient person, but I am willing to be for him.

God, typical for it to be Daphne that makes these feelings go through my head. She always wanted us together in a happily ever after ending. I'll make sure to thank her at the funeral tomorrow. I miss having her here. Daphne always had that goofy smile of hers when she saw us kiss. There I go again crying, she'd be one to bring emotion out of me. I just want her back, so that Justin can be happy again.


	4. Friends Should Come But Never Go

Brian's P.O.V.

It was three days after Daphne had passed that they decided to have the funeral. Justin and I went out and got some nice clothes to wear. He didn't seem very into the idea of me spending money for us to look good for his best friend's funeral.

We left the house at about 12 o clock to make sure we were there early enough to support the family. While I drove there, I could tell Justin was getting upset again. I grabbed his hand and could feel that he was shaking.

"It's ok, we're almost there."

"I know, but I just don't want to go all dressed up for my best friend's death.

"It's just the right thing to do Justin. It'll be over soon, then we can go back home and you wear whatever the hell you want."

He sighed and leaned back in his seat. I knew exactly how he felt, but looking good for a funeral is just the right thing to do.

We finally pulled up to the funeral home and headed inside. As we walked in, I had my arm around Justin because I knew it made him feel better. We walked into the room that everyone else was in. Justin only had to glimpse at the casket to break down in tears. He put his face into my shoulder to muffle the sound. I rubbed his back to try to calm him down.

We walked over to a pew and sat down. We sat next to Jennifer so that Justin would have someone on both sides to be near. A little after we got there, they started on the eulogies. Justin hadn"d started calming himself down. He was wiping his eyes and took deep breaths before he stood up. He walked up to the stage and brought his drawing with him.

He stood behind the podium and took a deep breath. I could tell he was still shaking. He held so tight onto the podium, that his knuckles turned white.

"Hi, I'm Justin Taylor. You might know me as Daphne's best friend. Daphne and I were close. We told each other everything. From what guys we liked that day, to what we wanted our future to be. Daphne was the first person to ever accept me for me. She could care less if I had a nose growing out of my forehead or if I was the color blue. What all those things would have done, was add something extra for us to talk about. Not that we didn't already talk enough.

"She made me want to start the day. She made me feel like I didn't need to be like everyone else as long as she still loved me. I don't know how it's going to be starting the day and not being able to call her." He started to break down again. It was hard to sit there and let it happen, but he gave me a look telling me to let him go on.

"She always wanted the best for me and I always wanted the best for her. During anything I did for my rights, she was right there on the sidelines. You know, she's probably watching us right now thinking to herself how much she loves that we made such a big deal about her. She always wondered who would come to her funeral and if they would really care." Then he looked up, "Well, Daphne, we care."

He headed back down and by the look on his face, I could tell he was about to fall. Everyone stood up clapping and I headed over to him so that I could be there if he fell. He didn't thankfully. I walked him back over to the pew and sat down holding him close. Eventually everyone stopped clapping and sat back down. I laid my head on top of his and started crying. He looked up at me and gave me a kiss. I wiped a tear off of his face and he did the same to me.

Finally, the memorial was over and the pastor prayed. We headed back home because Justin didn't want to hang out with everyone. He just wanted to get home.

I was very proud of his speech. "That was amazing."

"It was just how I felt. I had to say something. I couldn't just leave there without speaking how I felt."

"I know and I'm proud of you." I grabbed his hand and kissed it.

"Thanks"


	5. Friends Should Come But Never Go

Brian's P.O.V.  
When we got to the loft, I could tell that Justin was acting very distant. When we walked into the loft he turned around to face me.

"Brian, I want to be alone."

"I guess I can go to the diner."

He walked over to the closet and pulled out a duffel bag...it was empty. He walked over to the dresser and started filling up the bag with it.

I walked over to him, "Justin, what are you doing?"

"When I said I wanted to be alone I meant for good. I'm going to find an apartment and I don't want to see you again."

"What are you talking about?"

"I can't be with you anymore. I am too close and I can't be that close to you."

I walked up to him and grabbed his shoulders, turning him so he was facing me. "Justin, you're not making any sense." He pulled himself away from me and started packing again. "Justin, what are you talking about?"

"I can't be with you Brian! I can't lose you like I lost Daphne! I was too close to her and now look at me. Every time I take a moment to think, I break down crying."

"Justin, come on, don't do this." I grabbed him and held him close to me.

He pushed me off of him, hard. "Brian, I can't! I can't be with you! I can't lose you!"

"Justin, you aren't going to lose me. You'll have to shut yourself off from everyone if you want to not get close to anyone. You're going to have to not communicate with anyone."

He turned to me, giving me a look like he already knew that and that was his plan. He grabbed his bag that was already full of his clothes, and then he headed to the bathroom to fill it with the rest of his stuff. He walked by me without even looking at me to head out the door, but I grabbed his arm first. He was crying.

"Justin, don't do this. I know you don't want to do this."

He pulled him arm away from me. "Brian, I have to. Goodbye, forever." Justin walked over to the door and opened it.

"Justin, don't do this to me! Please!" I could feel the tears well up in my eyes.

He paused for a moment at the door, and then he turned around. "Do this to you? Brian, I love...loved you. I can't love someone again and then lose them again. It's too hard. It's just easier this way if I don't get close to anyone."

"Justin, I can't let you leave. I can't be without you. You will just make this hard on both of us if you leave."

"We'll get over it. But if you were to die, I don't think I could get over that." Then he turned around and rushed out the door before I could say something again.

He went on the elevator and before I could stop him, the doors closed. I ran downstairs as fast as I could. I don't know what was making me run as fast as I was or why I was doing it. It was as if something else made me do it. Usually, I would just stay in the loft and wait for Justin to come back to me. But this time, I couldn't take the chance that he wouldn't.

When I got to the bottom of the steps, he was just then walking out of the door to the building.

"Justin!" he turned around and looked at me. I was at the door and he was about five feet away from me.

"Justin, I love you. I can't let you leave." I can't believe I just said that, but yet, I didn't regret it. "I will do everything in my power to have you stay with me. Daphne wouldn't want her death to be the excuse for you to leave me."

He set down the duffel bag and stared at me with tear-filled eyes. "Brian, you just told me you loved me."

"Yeah, I guess I did." I started walking over to him.

He walked towards me and I wrapped my hands around his waist, "Brian, I can't lose you."

"You won't. I'll be here as long as I possibly can, but don't let that amount of time spent with us apart. I want us to be together every moment together."

I kissed him long and hard on the lips. "Brian I love you."

"I love you too Justin"

I gave him kiss and then a hug. I looked up to the sky and told her, 'Thank you'.


End file.
